Saturday, October 29, 2011
10-29-11
Here's to the cute arab-ish looking girl who served me coffee this morning. Everyday's a gift.
Friday, October 28, 2011
Fun with spam mail
On Fri, Oct 28, 2011 at 5:02 PM, ezekiel alston wrote:
I wonder how old are you? It is difficult recognize from the photo. You want to know, how I look for shure.
U can name me Whoopi.
Long hair, shiny skin, cute. My sister gave me your photos and e-mail. Funny, is not it?
Email me some information about you, please.
On Fri, Oct 28, 2011 at 6:32 PM, David Ex <-ex@gmail.com> wrote:
I am 72 years old..... waaaiiit Whoopi? Are you serious? That is the name you're gonna go with, Whoopi?! BwHahAhahahahah!!! oh.... Whoopi
I wonder how old are you? It is difficult recognize from the photo. You want to know, how I look for shure.
U can name me Whoopi.
Long hair, shiny skin, cute. My sister gave me your photos and e-mail. Funny, is not it?
Email me some information about you, please.
On Fri, Oct 28, 2011 at 6:32 PM, David Ex <-ex@gmail.com> wrote:
I am 72 years old..... waaaiiit Whoopi? Are you serious? That is the name you're gonna go with, Whoopi?! BwHahAhahahahah!!! oh.... Whoopi
Saturday, October 22, 2011
I feel no pain, pay no insurance
A few months ago I got a new bike. My other bike was stolen so I had no choice but to find another. This bike I got isn't actually new, but it's like new. A Cannondale made in the 1990's, made in America, it's a nice bike. When it was new it sold for an outragous amount but I got it for a good price. The owner died years ago and his son just kept in the garage until I bought it. Basically, I got a bargain, like buying a Cadillac for the price of an old used one but with the mileage of a brand new one.
It's got special treads on the tires, front and rear shocks, very quick and light with cowhorn handles (when you put your hands on these your body can't help but to go ultra fast). The only problem is it's technically 2 inches too short for me- not a big deal but it dose affect things like taking a sharp corner, I have learned.
Yesterday I took a fast, tight turn and forgot to position the peddle on the side I was turning on to the "up" position. Because the tires allow me to lean the bike at uncanny angles, I do, but because it's a lil short for me the peddles will touch the pavement before the bike's turnability will fail. A fact I was reminded of while turning on to Rose from Kalamazoo ave.
When a bike accident is in the process of happening the rider has enuff time to realize it. The accident flag went off in my head- in this brief moment your mind says "Alright, remember this feeling of a pain free body, cause your ass is about to be hurting". I was ready, ready for the problem ahead of me. A painful, gravel burning problem just moments away. I knew what I was in for because I ride bikes often... What I didn't realize was that this old guy had also outfitted the bike with peddles that cost more than my rent. They are the kind that you can clip your special bike-racing shoes into, if you should decide. A lesser bike would not have made that turn period. A lesser peddle would have broken to bits which would have caused me to fall to my road rash doom.
This bike? I was slightly removed from my seat as if I had came to a hard stop... well, I guess I did come to a hard stop. I held my position with my eyes squinted. It took me a few moments to realize that nothing happened. I slowly looked down to the hit peddle to evaluate weather or not there was enuff peddle left to peddle to the bike store. Amazingly, the metal peddle was unscathed. There wasn't even a scratch on the painted-on company name "LOOK". Actually, the peddle somehow looked better- I think the damn bike appreciated in value after that lil accident.
My point is cars are gay. You get in a car accident- even a minor one- and that just ruins your day. You have insurance to think about and fixing whatever may have been broke. You get in a bike accident and you have a bruise and astory to tell... a cast at most! The worse part of this accident was that I perhaps looked foolish in front of the cars passing by, but I'm used to that anyway... besides car owners are gay.
It's got special treads on the tires, front and rear shocks, very quick and light with cowhorn handles (when you put your hands on these your body can't help but to go ultra fast). The only problem is it's technically 2 inches too short for me- not a big deal but it dose affect things like taking a sharp corner, I have learned.
Yesterday I took a fast, tight turn and forgot to position the peddle on the side I was turning on to the "up" position. Because the tires allow me to lean the bike at uncanny angles, I do, but because it's a lil short for me the peddles will touch the pavement before the bike's turnability will fail. A fact I was reminded of while turning on to Rose from Kalamazoo ave.
When a bike accident is in the process of happening the rider has enuff time to realize it. The accident flag went off in my head- in this brief moment your mind says "Alright, remember this feeling of a pain free body, cause your ass is about to be hurting". I was ready, ready for the problem ahead of me. A painful, gravel burning problem just moments away. I knew what I was in for because I ride bikes often... What I didn't realize was that this old guy had also outfitted the bike with peddles that cost more than my rent. They are the kind that you can clip your special bike-racing shoes into, if you should decide. A lesser bike would not have made that turn period. A lesser peddle would have broken to bits which would have caused me to fall to my road rash doom.
This bike? I was slightly removed from my seat as if I had came to a hard stop... well, I guess I did come to a hard stop. I held my position with my eyes squinted. It took me a few moments to realize that nothing happened. I slowly looked down to the hit peddle to evaluate weather or not there was enuff peddle left to peddle to the bike store. Amazingly, the metal peddle was unscathed. There wasn't even a scratch on the painted-on company name "LOOK". Actually, the peddle somehow looked better- I think the damn bike appreciated in value after that lil accident.
My point is cars are gay. You get in a car accident- even a minor one- and that just ruins your day. You have insurance to think about and fixing whatever may have been broke. You get in a bike accident and you have a bruise and astory to tell... a cast at most! The worse part of this accident was that I perhaps looked foolish in front of the cars passing by, but I'm used to that anyway... besides car owners are gay.
Sunday, October 9, 2011
And also with you
Father Ted: So, before you all go today I need to remind you all that... there are a few people that have been pocketing the Host. Please don't pocket the Host."
I have this very real feeling that the church, together as one heart, has no idea what was just said. "Don't pocket the Host" It sounds like words set next to one another, like "Don't moose that ski-doo".
Father Ted: Yes... yes... We have been finding the Host in the parking lot, in the near by water foutain... in wedge in to the spokes of children bicycles to make that flapping noise when they ride. Yeah, sooo, please, let the priest see you eat the Host and don't pocket the Host.
Some people arn't Christians. And even among the Christians some don't believe in things like the Holy Goast. But At that moment There was a true connection being made- with out words- and it was crystal clear. The priest saying "Soooo, this is kinda stupid I should even have to say this. Do I really have to explain anything here?" and everyone else looking amogst them selves as if to say "no, no... yeah, kinda weird. Sorry, don't know what to tell ya"
Father Ted: Also, please wash your hands. For the love of God.
I have this very real feeling that the church, together as one heart, has no idea what was just said. "Don't pocket the Host" It sounds like words set next to one another, like "Don't moose that ski-doo".
Father Ted: Yes... yes... We have been finding the Host in the parking lot, in the near by water foutain... in wedge in to the spokes of children bicycles to make that flapping noise when they ride. Yeah, sooo, please, let the priest see you eat the Host and don't pocket the Host.
Some people arn't Christians. And even among the Christians some don't believe in things like the Holy Goast. But At that moment There was a true connection being made- with out words- and it was crystal clear. The priest saying "Soooo, this is kinda stupid I should even have to say this. Do I really have to explain anything here?" and everyone else looking amogst them selves as if to say "no, no... yeah, kinda weird. Sorry, don't know what to tell ya"
Father Ted: Also, please wash your hands. For the love of God.
Saturday, October 1, 2011
I'll be the Dean Koontz of asking general questions int restaurants
The thing about learning a foreign language is that you get exposed to alot of really bad dialog. I mean, this stuff can make porno look like Shakespeare sometimes. Take this great little skit for example, if you pay attention you will notice it really doesnt make any sense :
Mary: Hello, Julia!
Julia: Hello, Mary! You seem very pleased.
Mary: Yes, I'm very happy. Tonight I'm going out with Marcos.
Julia: That's great!
Mary: I thought he liked Anna.
Julia: But Anna has a boyfriend, doesn't she?
Mary: Yes, Marcos and Anna are just friends.
Julia: The thing is, you're very jealous…
Well the characters are wooden a the plot falls apart around the 3rd act. If Julia is already going out with Marcos then obviously she has either already figured Anna was not with him OR she's a trifling bitch that is trying to steal Marcos, in which case she probably would avoid talking about it.
I think I found my new nitch market to pander to- foreign language dialog. That's how I will make my fortune. Well, that and being a script writter for dumb children's school plays... think about it, someone has to actually sit down and write those things.
Mary: Hello, Julia!
Julia: Hello, Mary! You seem very pleased.
Mary: Yes, I'm very happy. Tonight I'm going out with Marcos.
Julia: That's great!
Mary: I thought he liked Anna.
Julia: But Anna has a boyfriend, doesn't she?
Mary: Yes, Marcos and Anna are just friends.
Julia: The thing is, you're very jealous…
Well the characters are wooden a the plot falls apart around the 3rd act. If Julia is already going out with Marcos then obviously she has either already figured Anna was not with him OR she's a trifling bitch that is trying to steal Marcos, in which case she probably would avoid talking about it.
I think I found my new nitch market to pander to- foreign language dialog. That's how I will make my fortune. Well, that and being a script writter for dumb children's school plays... think about it, someone has to actually sit down and write those things.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)