another night at the circle K

The Circle K on Oakland is open 24 hours aday. Even on a slow Sunday night it is the place still open to sell a beer for sure, unlike the Munchie Mart that closes around eleven. For many it is the last recharge of carnal decadence until at lest Monday night. For me, it's on the way home after catching a movie.

I wasn't expecting a conversation we she first said something to me while standing in the checkout line. Between me being unsuspecting and her words sluring a bit, I had to ask her to repeat herself.

"Do you think I look like a total dike?" she asks. I knew what she meant, she was wearing clets, knee high socks and baseball shirt that read "beer exchange".

"Um... I suppose" I replied.

"Do I?"

"Well if I was in that frame of mind, I suppose I would say so"

"And what's that then?"

"The type of mindset to judge strangers sexuality on the street. I'd probably say you were a dike then."

"Did you see how those guys looked at me when I walked in?" she rolled her eye down and up to show that they scanned her "but I don't care. It's not my fault that my work has a softball legue. But I'm not a dike."

"It's OK, I wouldn't care if you were"

"People keep looking at me like I'm a dike but you know what? It's like I don't care. It just so happens that I work for a bar that has softball"

"Yeah, typically lesbians are in softball, I get it. Well, did you win?" It was my turn in line and she moved up beside me like were were together. I tried to split polite eye contact and attention between her and the cashier.

"...I don't care. Look, look at these socks. So many lesbians in softball but I don't care"

"Yeah, I live with a girl who plays in roller derby so I know all about that"

"Oh, roller derby? Yeah, they are like ALL dikes"

"Well, not all of them, believe me I know"

"Well, no, not all of them but... as far as categories of gay go..."

"yeah it's far to the gay, you got to at lest be really comfortable with lesbianism to play roller derby"

"This girl that I used to work with, she used to be all about roller derby but then like someone pissed her off and so she hates them all now"

"Yeah... women are caty. The only reason why they don't destroy each other is because then they wouldn't have anyone to be popular amongst"

"That is true... well, except for me"

"Present party excluded, ofcource"

'

"It's always in the last place you look..."
"Well, yeah. Why would you keep looking after you found it?"

This if nothing else

Sometimes I'll be walking down the street and I'll see a pretty girl walking by. Sometimes they smile at me and I'll smile back. Over time I have had the the chance to talk to some of these girls, sometimes become friends with them and then sometimes even more.
Before I would most automatically strike up a conversation if I could find anything to say but now by default I keep walking. It's an unfortunate thing to think about but experience has taught me that the most they could ever do for me is smile... and still I'm glad I get at lest that.