Roger, the sensual pan-dimensional

“Roger. I don't think so. Noooo”

“No?”

“Roger, no. Please? OK, cool down there”

“I'm sorry. Sorry”

“Cool it down, you're a little too anxious”

“hhhhhhh... Ok”

“OK”

“No. It's... OK, I might as well tell you”

“OK... what?"

“I'm sorry, but this is the only way I could think of”

“OK, way of what?”

“I'll tell the truth, I was intending on having sex tonight”

“Awww. I wouldn't mind either but your going a little too fast, tiger”

“Oh... Oh, good, well then perhaps will be easier than I thought”

“What is that suppose to mean?”

“Look, there's a reason... a reason for all of this. The picnic at the park, the walk down the beach, us coming back here because my roommate is home. Maybe, and just maybe, there was a reason for us accidentally befriending that mariachi player”

“Aww, what's the reason?”

“OK. Here it goes. I'm a multidimensional being. I can transcend into different dimensions. No, seriously, just listen. It's kind of hard to explain to a flatsie- oh, that's what we call you guys- it's hard to explain, but it's kind of like... Like rhythmic gear work, these gateways open. Much like the windmill at on a putt-putt course, you just gotta learn the timing. Yes, I see it all. I see it... you know like in the Matrix?”

“Oooh my god... Roger, I think touching time is over”

“Hm? Oh sorry. Yeah so, I'm like a guy who can understand all that green writing. But actually it looks more like gears and sometimes in the middle it's like windmill blades.”

“Roger... What, what the hell? I thought you were really nice sense I met you and we had fun today. And, yeah, I was kind of thinking about- stop rubbing me please- well, now you're acting all weird and- STOP”

“OK,OK,OK! Look-look, OK?, look. I know this stuff is just so crazy, it's like how how could I even make it up? Yes, we've had a nice time. Meeting at our mutual friend's party. Me poking you on facebook, the flirtations. It was all because I knew at precicly this time a gateway would be open. Do you think I want to be telling you all this? No. But the fact of the matter there is right where you're ass sits, in a dimension 4 panips- that's the unit of dimensional distance- 4 panips away there is a inter dimensional bomb about to go off! Now, I only have a window of about 3 minutes to get threw that gateway which happens to share the same coordinate with your ass”

“3 minutes?”

“Well, maybe 6, I put a condom on”

“So you have to hit a bomb in another dimension with your dick and that's why you've been so nice to me?”

“Hit it to disarm it, yes. And it must be my dick because the gateway is no bigger than a mouse hole.”

“Oh, jesus”

“A finger's too small and a hand is just way too big. Hey, I would love to be out there with any of the number of girls I could be with right now but too bad for me because I gotta be here to play superman and hit that bomb which happens to share the same location as your ass right now”

“Oh, OK. So there is a super-dimension bomb hole right here where my ass is? Oh, ok, well let me just scooch over than and... there. Ok, nothing in the way now. Go on, stick your dick threw the stargate and save the world now.”

“Ummm, yeah. OK, good, it's even easier this way I suppose. Let me just wait for it... wait for it... Um, could I get
some KY?”

“Sure. There, knock yourself out”

“OK, thanks. Like I said, it's a tight fit”

“Uh-huh. Go for it”

“OK, just got to wait for the opening to appear. OK... OK... yup. Oh, oh... just gotta... Great! Ok, made out of there just in time. Gee, the friction from going between dimensions is great. Ha, I might need a cigarette”

“Uh-huh, OK, Roger, can you get your pants on and go now?”

“Well, I suppose I should get to some of those ladies now. Ha, unless you wanna hang out with a hero, baby”

“I'm good on that. Please go. Roger- no, no. Go. Go. Just go. OK, goodnight. Bye"