Most the time election polls are in school gyms. Sometimes they are not. Sometimes they are in a church. A few times they are in really random places. That’d be an interesting article to read, all the weird places they stuck election pulls. An open air park, basketball court. A pontoon. McDonald’s cafeteria. Voodoo Priestess shanty.
This year the place I voted at was in a hockey rink. I’m talkin’ about the booths were set up in the rink itself. You had to lace up just to rock the vote. So I did. It’s been years since I skated so I stumbled a little.
It’s weird how voting has changed in some ways but not at all in others over the years. When I was first old enuff to vote I voted in a church. I remember making sure to bring my voter registration card and ID but when I arrived they didn’t want to see any of it. It was like they would get into trouble if they did check. I was only asked my name and address.
This time it was totally different. With shaky feet I skated over to the first table and presented my voter registration card. They inspected it and told me to do a ‘Tano jump to the table to the left. At best I did a hop on the skates over there and a young girl who had a small pile of snow under the table where she was impatiently chipping away ice with the edge of her skate. She asked for my ID and swapped the magnetic strip on the back like it was a credit card. That was the first time I have ever seen a driver’s license be swiped. There was a long pause after she swiped it. She stared into her laptops screen. Stopped chipping with her skate and put down her book “How To Stay Cool On Ice”. I looked around me and saw that off in the distance the refs were skating towards me. Finally she looked up to me and with a slight frown, told me to do a double axle to the next open booth aligned with the rink’s wall.
It’s funny how there is the underlying, core belief that democracy is what makes the country so damned prosperous but then the actually voting process is like redeeming food rations or something. They gave me a large cardboard envelope with my ballot sandwiched in the middle. The ballot didn’t exactly fit all the way so the top 25% hung out, exposing several votes. The booth they had set up was too small to allow the ballot and the envelope to lay on the table. The table wobbled and the skates that I had to rent with my own money were killing my pinky toes.
They way you let your vote be know has changed, too. Before I remember filling in a bubble, like on a scantron for a test in high school. Now you have to complete a logical puzzle for the candidate that you’re voting for. Like there will be a series of symbols and then you have to draw what the next symbol should come next to fit the pattern.
Considering how much vital data I have stored on the internet without worrying too much about, I can’t help but to wonder how necessary poll stations are now-a-days. Or how obsolete the institution of electoral colleges are.
There’s a lot of skate-markings near the machine that takes your ballot from people doing powerslides next to it. An older lady skates to it before me but the machine rejects it. Two other old ladies try to run the ballot in the machine a few more times, doing it exactly the same way each time, before concluding that she must have completed one of the patterns incorrectly. They toss out the ballot but as a consolation they give her a penalty shot.
I could tell that she wasn't much of a hockey player but, my god, she gave it the best she could. Still, the shot went to the far right and missed the goal completely. There was a roar from the crowed.
I skated up and fed my ballot, dangling out of the envelope, to the machine. I sucked it right up and the old ladies gave me a sticker for being a good citizen. Before I voted I went to the store and bought some gum. It was a 50 cent pack of gum and they gave me a receipt for it. Seems like it would be reassuring if this machine would give me a receipt, verifying what votes I had just cast just so I know it all working properly. But that’s American democracy for ya; cool like ice yet kinda janky.
I accepted the sticker and skated off the ice. Behind me the old lady punched a ref and a power play breaks out on the ice. I got my shoes back on and bought a Mountain Dew from the concession stand.
This year the place I voted at was in a hockey rink. I’m talkin’ about the booths were set up in the rink itself. You had to lace up just to rock the vote. So I did. It’s been years since I skated so I stumbled a little.
It’s weird how voting has changed in some ways but not at all in others over the years. When I was first old enuff to vote I voted in a church. I remember making sure to bring my voter registration card and ID but when I arrived they didn’t want to see any of it. It was like they would get into trouble if they did check. I was only asked my name and address.
This time it was totally different. With shaky feet I skated over to the first table and presented my voter registration card. They inspected it and told me to do a ‘Tano jump to the table to the left. At best I did a hop on the skates over there and a young girl who had a small pile of snow under the table where she was impatiently chipping away ice with the edge of her skate. She asked for my ID and swapped the magnetic strip on the back like it was a credit card. That was the first time I have ever seen a driver’s license be swiped. There was a long pause after she swiped it. She stared into her laptops screen. Stopped chipping with her skate and put down her book “How To Stay Cool On Ice”. I looked around me and saw that off in the distance the refs were skating towards me. Finally she looked up to me and with a slight frown, told me to do a double axle to the next open booth aligned with the rink’s wall.
It’s funny how there is the underlying, core belief that democracy is what makes the country so damned prosperous but then the actually voting process is like redeeming food rations or something. They gave me a large cardboard envelope with my ballot sandwiched in the middle. The ballot didn’t exactly fit all the way so the top 25% hung out, exposing several votes. The booth they had set up was too small to allow the ballot and the envelope to lay on the table. The table wobbled and the skates that I had to rent with my own money were killing my pinky toes.
They way you let your vote be know has changed, too. Before I remember filling in a bubble, like on a scantron for a test in high school. Now you have to complete a logical puzzle for the candidate that you’re voting for. Like there will be a series of symbols and then you have to draw what the next symbol should come next to fit the pattern.
Considering how much vital data I have stored on the internet without worrying too much about, I can’t help but to wonder how necessary poll stations are now-a-days. Or how obsolete the institution of electoral colleges are.
There’s a lot of skate-markings near the machine that takes your ballot from people doing powerslides next to it. An older lady skates to it before me but the machine rejects it. Two other old ladies try to run the ballot in the machine a few more times, doing it exactly the same way each time, before concluding that she must have completed one of the patterns incorrectly. They toss out the ballot but as a consolation they give her a penalty shot.
I could tell that she wasn't much of a hockey player but, my god, she gave it the best she could. Still, the shot went to the far right and missed the goal completely. There was a roar from the crowed.
I skated up and fed my ballot, dangling out of the envelope, to the machine. I sucked it right up and the old ladies gave me a sticker for being a good citizen. Before I voted I went to the store and bought some gum. It was a 50 cent pack of gum and they gave me a receipt for it. Seems like it would be reassuring if this machine would give me a receipt, verifying what votes I had just cast just so I know it all working properly. But that’s American democracy for ya; cool like ice yet kinda janky.
I accepted the sticker and skated off the ice. Behind me the old lady punched a ref and a power play breaks out on the ice. I got my shoes back on and bought a Mountain Dew from the concession stand.
No comments:
Post a Comment